Imposter

Despite my many doubts about this relatively public means of communing with family and friends, my daily crabby round robin gets such response from you that touches and comforts me. I love the way your responses vary, highlighting different aspects and increasing my awareness (sadly not my understanding). A recent example is Kirsty’s card when she writes about how those of us who first met at Chelsea college retain this perception of our friends as such young things and now we’re all nearly 60, (including you Martin and Hector’s our pioneer) and my situation jolts this perception.

As I’ve written a few times I find it hard to accept that my writing might have any merit, this is similar to that regular feeling I experienced as a teacher that someone would find me out and expose me as a fraud. I think this is described by something termed Impostor Syndrome: ‘a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments.’ It is also explained by the term “Don’t compare your insides with other people’s outsides”, which is from the ‘Action for Happiness’ site. Just been browsing this site and it has some good stuff but as often seems the case with the positive posse it seems to find any objections, such as from us Stoics, difficult to deal with, as if anyone who doesn’t believe just doesn’t understand. How could anyone object to just wanting everyone to be happier? Interesting piece by Oliver Burkeman, I do like him,: ‘Imposter syndrome? It might be a sign you’re getting better at your work’. He writes that one of the ironies of Imposter Syndrome is that the frauds, idiots, sociopaths, bankers, many politicians, the grinning gargoyle, Nobo, Russell Brand, de Pfeffel twatface and other Buller bullies, Tories, Mourinho, Mother Teresa, plutocrats, most CEOs, Thatcher, Gove, Osborne, IDS don’t suffer from it. I might have extended his list a bit.

I’m afraid to report that the gambling returns have dipped over the last week partly due to lazy alliterative picking from the Guardian’s tipster. Also one evening’s multiple bet on all the European football games and I got everyone wrong.

My Manifesto

2. Ban the use by restaurants and pubs of those usually oval shaped dishes that they put food in. These are put on a plate and are extremely annoying; if you leave the food in then it’s tricky to get out or you have to tip it on to the plate yourself. Just put pies, slices of pie, portions of lasagne or whatever on the plate you lazy schtups.

My taste has changed, not just the sartorial one, but also the oral one. I normally drink a lot of and enjoy simple tap water but it now tastes weird. As ever opportunity and all that so I’m exploring new squashes, juices and different bottled waters. Still missing wine and beer.

Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.

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7 thoughts on “Imposter

  1. Hey Dunc, we are all still young, we are the pioneers for the new type of third age and we’ll all go boldly on together to become a real pain in the arse for our kids. However there are a few tips for staying young:-
    Never go on a Warners break holiday
    Never complain about the length of the neighbours lawn or that they park in your parking space
    Never browse the easy listening range in a music store (if they still exist)
    Always take the alternative view (no problem there for you!)

    I am reminded of that time we went to Eastbourne and ran around with water pistols, I like to think we’d still do that.

    Anyway I’m off to buy a new pair of carpet slippers now (mmmmm)

    Jules xxxxx

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  2. Nick Mason of Pink Floyd said ‘ I still half expect the drum police to show up saying ‘Alright Mason, Come along quietly’. Ringo probably felt the same.
    We are all wonderful and flawed.I imagine even the very arrogant (Bono?) , must have suffered from self doubt at times, especially when he was in the wilderness for 40 days and nights being tempted by Satan and The Edge.
    In these days of Compare . Con it’s hard to get some perspective on our worth, whatever the merits of our achievements. Dissatisfaction sells. Like Nick, I fear I’m going to get voted off in this reality game any minute.
    We love your blog cos it’s real. And touching. Rants an all. We don’t want to be blanded. Once sound bitten twice shy.
    John Lennon sang ‘
    ‘I am he as you are he as you are me and we are altogether’ . It’s in the DNA.
    You are the blogman,
    Keep on keeping on,
    love
    Hector

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  3. Mike you are so lovely. Julie, that sounds fun, and in the summer this year we were running around, not with water pistols, but pretending to be peacocks! So in answer to your question yes I think you would all still do it. Whoopee! Love Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  4. Badoit – it’s the best! Lots to follow. Sorry been silent of late. Lots of reasons. More to follow. Lots of love to all esp THE MAN. Yes, that’s you baldy! D xxx

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