Don’t read this as it’s depressing and shouldn’t be inflicted on people at this time of year when so many of us are in the midst of an orgy of spending, planning the perfect christmas day and boosting the profits of so many of those lovely kleptos

Currently I am of the opinion that there is something worse than not being able to taste food and drink and that is having a thirst and not being able to drink. I can drink, but only very small amounts and anything I can swallow causes excruciating pain. So I torture myself thinking about drinking something so sublimely simple as a glass of cold tap water.

I’m back, not that you knew any different,I fell asleep as I’m frequently prone to. Before ! dozed off I was cogitating about which was worse: being thirsty and there being no water or being thirsty and there is water available but you are unable to drink.

Poor Mike drove me to the hospital and those of you who know Mike know that he loves to talk, but it’s hard to talk when only one of you is talking. My voice has pretty much gone as well, I can talk very quietly and for short periods but again it’s painful and I’ve been advised to keep it to a minimum. It’s also embarrassing for me because my damaged throat produces copious amounts of phlegm, about which I am indefatigably not phlegmatic about.

Maybe I shouldn’t be writing this now as it will just be a downer for anyone reading it, especially at christmas time. Yet trying to express the truth, or at least my version of it, has been one of the watchwords for my blog, I’ll stick a warning in the title to put people off reading it.

Had my first, albeit brief, panic today with the ‘mask’ on since my first zapping session. I’ve sort of set it up because over the weekend with being in such pain the thought of 4 more sessions filled me with dread. It is so hard because you know that what is causing so much pain is going to be done again. Had last treatment meeting with key nurse and speech and language therapist. Nurse asked me if I thought it was going to be this hard, I replied no. She went on to tell me that the consultant thinks that head and neck cancer treatments are the worst and they’ve given me almost 3 months of heavy duty treatment!

They did say that my neck, although quite red, is looking good so they said they’re impressed with my unction. Of course they might have said it just to try and make me feel better.

Will have new pain management routine tomorrow, hopefully it will help.

Here’s some bollocks, probably written by someone who’s never been in serious pain:

Manifesto 47:

  • time for someone to replace Paxman as quizperson for university challenge. His oxbridge bias is painful to witness, although it was fun in a recent episode when, I think it was Liverpool, and they were taking the piss somewhat and Paxo didn’t get it. Ignorant git.

Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.

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5 thoughts on “Don’t read this as it’s depressing and shouldn’t be inflicted on people at this time of year when so many of us are in the midst of an orgy of spending, planning the perfect christmas day and boosting the profits of so many of those lovely kleptos

  1. Wonga, RBS, Atos, Lehman Brothers and Meha Baba all offered me a fiver if I shut up, …. just for one day.
    Hope your new pain relief regime gives you some respite over Christmas.
    Keep on Keeping on.
    Love,
    Hector x

    Like

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