Reached a stage where I am realising that recovery from my treatment really is a long haul.There are things I can do, both physical and mental, but the bolshie part of me, that which is and always has been contrarian, isn’t happy. It isn’t happy because it thinks it has had no say in proceedings. After the initial diagnosis there was very little time to think, let alone reflect, and treatment began very quickly. The frontal effects of treatment took over and are still predominant, it is almost as if the cancer itself has been submerged,especially as any results are a long time forthcoming.
So, as I begin to regroup, the bolshie part of me is thinking I too have been submerged and has had enough of stoical Duncan. It’s hard enough having this internal conflict but I also have to be with family, friends and relatives. They understandably want me better, are upset at what I’m going through and want to do all they can to help. Unfortunately even the most empathic of us cannot fully understand or know what it is like for others and too often trying to communicate conflicting emotions and feelings is frustrating and potentially damaging. It’s hard just attempting to put this shit into words.
Anyway I had thought I would return to work towards the end of March but my reaction to just a short visit to school last week and the general realisation that recovering from this fatigue will take a long time has caused me to rethink. When I spoke to my key nurse yesterday she said it is the most commonly cited problem during recovery. So my plans change again and it is the fact that the effects of the treatment are dictating this that angers me so.
Anyway I will be checkmating Tim Edgar in 2 moves.
I’ve also been annoyed that viewings of my blog have been reducing, such vanity.
Seamus Milne writes what many of us are thinking viz. the Labour Party. As the right wing pre-election onslaught begins numerous ‘business leaders’ aka kleptos are piling in on Labour saying they are ‘anti-business’. This is fraudulent and complete bollocks. The instigators in chief of anti-business are these crooks themselves, their slavish following of a very narrow neoliberal doctrine has led to an almighty financial crash, rampant inequality, grossly inefficient economies, decreased productivity, increased insecurity, and investment failure. They claim to be ‘wealth creators’, again complete bollocks unless you measure it in terms of their kleptomnia. Alongside this lot are bliar and his apostles, all of whom have joined the kleptos and dare to castigate Milliband for even daring to suggest some extremely modest changes. Labour will lose the election not because they fail to pander to this bag of shit but because they lose votes to the Greens, SNP and others who are offering more left wing policies and a fairer society. So there’s the answer, obvious really, Labour say now they will look to form an alliance with the Greens, SNP (probably not the two-faced liberals) and others so freeing up people to vote for who they really want to and not worry about letting the tory twats in again. Then this new coalition can begin developing the new politics we so desperately need beginning with PR and the ridding of the austerity bollocks.
Are ‘smart phones’ making us dumber? Whenever someone now asks a question instead of it sparking a discussion people look at their jabscreens to ‘google’ the answer. Peter Bradshaw writes about this and uses the term ‘”googleheimer’s” where you think of something to google but by the time you come to do it you’ve forgotten it. Not long before people are googling ‘who am I?’, ‘where am I?’ and we really all are googlezombies.
So the new Greek leaders are espousing no tie wearing, I heartily approve even though Tsipras has said he’ll start wearing one when Greece is in a healthier state. And seeing photos of the Greek finance minister with obnoxious osborne makes osborne look dated, could we be at last be witnessing the beginning of the demise of the tyranny of the tie and default man’s suit?
Going to dye my hair blue later, not in any way a political gesture, more an aesthetic one and as I wrote before so that Grace can call me Papa Smurf.
- If the weather’s OK then the roof over a sport’s stadium should not be used.
Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.