Just had a wonderful massage from Kate, I am so lucky having her as my wife. Kate thinks that maybe my tingling fingers are a result of all the needles stuck in my arms during treatment and it’s part of the process of vascular recovery, there’s a phrase I’ve never used before. Internal throat pain continuing to subside but there is more external neck pain, maybe damaged muscle recovering. Hair growing back everywhere, certainly not having that denuded feeling, which is good. Weirdly hair growing back in different colours: brown on my belly, one brown eyebrow (the other white) and head hair mainly white but some black coming through, beginning to look like a bleedin’ dalmation, best keep clear of Ms de Ville. Top of my jaw/neck hurt during massage, Kate thinks lymphodema might be the cause. But still by far the most debilitating side effect is fatigue.
Had a meeting with Gemma at school yesterday, she’s the new deputy to the new head Sophie (both promoted up from within) and with a new head of care and assistant head it’s a whole new team. Anyway, lovely to see her and I had to clear a few things up regarding retiring on health grounds. Hopefully paperwork will all be OK but mainly relying on medical report which I should get back soon. Whilst Gemma was composing email to human resources person she stopped and looked at me saying ” why am I doing this, I don’t want you to leave”, reflecting now makes me sad as I’ve been teaching at the school for 17 years, quite a long time.
As I left and was walking down the school driveway I stopped and looked in through the gate to one of the houses the students live in, a girl in my class, Kia, saw me, a big smile lit up her face and she opened the window to talk to me. Soon after one of the care workers, Kristian, came out and let me in and I sat with a group of them while they had dinner. As well as Kia there was Mo, Megan and Lorna at the table, all girls who’ve been in my classes. It felt so normal and comfortable just sat with them (they’re all autistic) and simply talking about whatever. I will miss them all.
Later as I walked along the road home the sky looked good in the twilight and then I noticed how many different birds were singing away. A symphony of birdsong. Spring is on it’s way.
Unlike yesterday initial perusal of the Grauniad didn’t fire me up in the same way, which is no bad thing as it forces me to read stuff I wouldn’t normally read, writing of which I’m still waiting for Katherine the pro-lifer to send me pieces to read in a non-judgmental way about the rights of the unborn child. Anyway, I read the journal long read again, this time by Jacob Silverman about social networks: “Pics or it didn’t happen” and “How sharing our every moment became the new living”. He writes of how the various social media now dominate people’s lives so much that it’s become an endless stream recording so many people’s lives that metadata isn’t a big enough term for it. One reason so many do it, he reports, is the fear of missing out; so many of us are doing it that we’d be “impoverished” if not part of it. Yet so much of it is banal as so many continually try and “capture the moment”. Just like Mike and I experienced at the War on Drugs concert with so many holding their dumb phones up to record the band instead of simply watching and listening and really being in the moment. Mike held his hand up in a camera shape a couple of times as he has the latest technology implanted in his hand. Anyway, as Mr Silverman writes in regard to filming concerts: “we hold our phones aloft so friends on the other end of the line can hear – what exactly? Again, we find that it doesn’t quite matter. We will probably never watch that video later, nor will we make that photo our desktop wallpaper or print it out and frame it. The crummy photos, the crackly recording, the indecipherable blast of music a caller hears: these are not personal remembrances or artistic artefacts. They are souvenirs, lifestyle totems meant to communicate status – to be your status update. They do not describe the band being captured; they describe us.” As I learnt reading the essay people do all this stuff for status, Kate already knew this when I spoke to her. Silverman argues that all this faceaching, twitting etc is nothing to do with any personal fulfilment or wish to share but all to do with ego and a demonstration of status. I know, I’ve expressed with some vanity when I think I’ve expressed things in this blog that might be ‘ahead of the curve’ or are ‘breaking news’. And I’ve had one ‘like’ so far (that was me early on playing with this blog site).
I continue to resist sharing this blog on other social media, am I what is termed a ‘lurker’, someone who doesn’t share on social media (excepting for this blog of course)? Is my blog just adding to the increasing cacophony?
So gulliver and flint in front of the treasury select committee yesterday being slightly inconvenienced for all their kleptocracy, blaming others and never taking responsibility, just the money and the status. Oh we’re so sorry for stealing so much money from the common weal. Just stick ’em all together on a single island tax haven. They are a disgrace to the human race. And when is the reverend green going to be hauled in front of the committee? Or better still in a court. Read all about it in the torygraph! Or not.
- the next Bond and Dr Who to be women.
Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.