Bureaucracy, bigransombranson and other bollocks.

Feeling very tired right now as I try to sort out our finances. It’s been well over 2 months since I realised I needed to take early retirement on health grounds, I naively thought it would be sorted by now, haven’t even got past the first stage yet! I’ve been obsessing too much, waking during the night and actually getting up with everyone else in the household this school morning and doing financial bureaucratic bollocks. Having to put all our loans and stuff on hold, cancel my Grauniad subscription which makes me very sad and work out where to get emergency funds with no savings.

Spoke with David yesterday and he really helped in terms of reframing my bureaucratic dilemma, for example treating form filling and the like as more of a game, treating the bureaucrats with contempt, even imagining myself as a French resistance fighter being interviewed by the gestapo and ‘think outside the box’.  He also suggested creating a board game based on all the bureaucratic bollocks and having it as some sort of social commentary with a grotesque caricature of idiotic dysfunctional shit somewhere in the game. I thought we could incorporate in the game a parallel system highlighting how the kleptos get the most benefits. Any ideas for a name?

Thinking of kleptos for a change bigransombranson featured on a programme the other night about Tubular Bells. One person described his running of virgin records, basically buying in cheap imports and flogging them, as akin to a second hand car salesman. Another from a producer when given a tape by Mike Oldfield took it to bigransom’s business partner as beardy would have no idea of it’s potential. bigransom apparently only had one record at the time (and no record player), batchelor boy by cliff. Sums him up in so many ways, beardy that is, not cliff.

Learnt from David yesterday that mbna is the company behind virgin finance. Anyone who’s had dealings with mbna know that they are the worst of the major credit card companies in so many ways, again sums up the carpetbagging wanker that is bigransombranson, that shameless ‘man of the people’.

Anyway, bureaucracy, don’t know if I’ve mentioned it already (remember I’m stressed and the  brainbox has been chemoed), but whenever those right wing twats go on about having a small state and reducing red tape that their beloved ‘free market’ and all their multinational companies actually create far more bureaucracy than states and public services ever do. For those of you who still believe the lies put out by the kleptos and multinationals and tories and other ‘free market’ zealots just reflect carefully on your experiences with private companies and with public or state organisations.

Off to post a form now, will return to this in a while (need some air).

I do like Paul Mason, he’s one of the few economics commentators who I think has a good grasp of what is really happening, no wonder Channel 5 snapped him up. Another really good article in G2 today having a go at the politicos (especially condom cameron and obsequious osborne) wearing hi-viz vests whilst visiting workplaces for well-planned photo ops. Like Mason suggests they should have to continue wearing the vests in ‘real-life’ situations and see what it’s really like for Britain’s ‘hard working families’, because the reality for the vast majority of workers in this country is of really shit conditions and very few speak out because they are fearful. The unions have been eviscerated, there’s been no coverage of them in this election and the worker’s voice is not being heard, yet we constantly hear the politicos go on about ‘hard working families’and the like. What is a hard working family by the way?

Anyway I’ve got a load of labour leaflets to deliver, hopefully I’ll have the opportunity to do some canvassing as I’ll loiter at the door of any residence that displays a tory, ukip or liberal poster. Kate and I also want a paint splat gun to fire red paint at all the tory posters springing up in fields and gardens hereabouts.

Lovely letter in the Grauniad today in response to Tim Lotts article about ‘happiness fascism’ from someone who quotes Thoreau: “Happiness is like  butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder”.

Got a first order for my unction today from a, so far, very satisfied user. Also spoke with John who deliberately misheard me in the pub when I explained what I was trying to do with the unction as he thinks it can be used to enhance sexual relations for those with prostate cancer.

Still, despite the Smith household being in severe austerity measures, the 3rd annual stupid games day has been set for May 16th to celebrate me being on the Earth for another year.

Time for a Steadman:

Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.

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