Vote tory get fucked.

Just got word that dear old Narky Marky has a foot of the river Nith streaming through his new joinery workshop.

Vote tory get flooded.

And today I was listening to the jeremy slime show (that’s what Kate calls him) and he was doing heroes and villains of the floods. Now it is heartwarming to hear of folk’s generosity towards their fellow beings. It is also disheartening to hear of ne’er do wells thieving and the like. What I didn’t hear on t’ wireless was anything about the biggest crooks who made such major contributions to the flooding, I refer of course to the kleptos, tts and their ilk.

Since condom features assumed his ‘rightful’ role as leader in 2010 he and s&m osborne have been dismantling the state and state spending (well state spending for poor folk), including flood defences. So never mind ‘fixing the roof etc’ these fuckers didn’t even fix the walls, or the embankments, or anything.

Whilst setting about destroying the state they did of course use state monies to reward their friends, members of their ‘elitist castes’. One egregious example is that of klepto richard bannister (sorry AYM,story courtesy of G. Monbiot) who bought Walshaw Moor, a large grouse shooting estate upstream of Hebden Bridge in 2002. In 2011 a case was brought against the estate for lots of illegal stuff especially burning and draining the land, all to produce more grouse for more kleptos to blast away at with their shooting toys. In 2012 the case was not only dropped but kleptonic bannister was given £2.5m of state aid to pretty much carry on as before. The minister responsible at the time was a tt by the name of richard benyon who also happens to be a grouse moor owner.

So the kleptos with the support of the tts and using our money develop their grouse moors and degrade the land and it’s naturally evolved flood defences.

So as those poor paups are flooded out downstream; their lives, housing and hopes of a happy christmas and new year left soaked and covered in shit, the kleptos and the tts stand literally above them whilst shooting thunderous volleys with their deadly toys at little birds.

Vote tory get fucked.

Keep on keeping on and a happy new year,

love Duncan.


coldplay eh?

and i still can’t accept what a knob i am

keep on………………..

tory hypocrisy and other bollocks.

Vote tory get flooded.

Not hard, but this christmas was so much better for us than last year. Despite being ‘larried’* by Jill at their christmas eve do we paced ourselves well on christmas day and all had a lovely time. (*- to be larried from Laurice, landlady of the Castle Inn, Corfe. When someone imbues another with more alcohol than they had planned).

We have a local monthly magazine called ‘The Purbeck Gazette’, I always read it as it has occasional pieces of interest, has letters and articles about local issues and it’s always nice to see stuff about people you know. Last year I offered to write about crabby stuff but the editor, the pulchritudinous Nico, was worried about me being ‘too political’. I was miffed. So it was pleasing on a few levels to read this month’s edition which is full of political letters and stimulating stuff: I’ve expressed interest in becoming a warden volunteer for Dorset Wildlife Trust, will apply to join the Wessex Regional Flood and Coastal Committee, a house next to where I used to live is now become ‘When a House Becomes Art’ and will be featured in the sunday times and is open for viewing soon and there’s an ad for the best beauty therapist and masseuse in Purbeck.

One letter in particular piqued my pique from a person I’ve mentioned before, one Andy Kirkwood, who I dubbed ‘the messiah’. He’s involved in various things such as the anti-fracking group and regularly stands in elections. Anyways his letter goes on about the ‘cost of war’ and contrasting the obscene amounts spent on warmongering with the cuts in welfare. He then writes the following:

“I have been to a lot of Swanage Town Council meetings lately where Christian prayers are read to the predominantly Conservative Councillors. This is your party investing in war and bombing people”. Making the obvious point about the contradiction between the christian ethos and warmongering. He finishes with:

“I believe it is way overdue for humans to evolve and start acting with love and compassion. Who in the Conservative Party is brave enough to do that I wonder?” Enuff said.

And then I read in my Linkedin stuff they send me the following piece that also piqued my pique by some professor banging on about organisational bureaucratic bollocks:

“Sometimes we call it “The tragedy of well-intentioned organizational overload.” It happens because so many organizations are filled with well-meaning people who keep adding little bits of complexity and friction. Sometimes, as in our new evaluations, the additional load is added for the most noble of reasons. Other times, their motives are less noble — if still well-intentioned. They call meetings, add new rules, or require extra paperwork to demonstrate their value to their peers and bosses.”

This is something I’d been aware of for ages and experienced with increasing frustration as a teacher. I regularly banged my head against the nearest wall as I not only railed against all the bollocks but the cognitive dissonance of those in power and others around me. My friend Hector told me a number of years ago that when he was at some ABA (Applied Behavioural Analysis) management training that the co-founder spoke of his partner who had often said that in any organisation it’s effectiveness was something like 65% down to management, on his deathbed he amended this to 95%.

It has long been my belief that in any organisation the ultimate responsibility lies with, quite obviously, the CEO. As cambian healthcare goes through senior directors and other senior folk within their institutions at an unhealthy rate, for example the ‘new’ head of care at my old school lasted barely a year and left recently. I think that they do not have the moral right to include ‘health’ and ‘care’ in their company title. I also note that the only constant in the company’s hierarchy is mr kleptasaria and if a company’s ‘success’ is based on the simplistic bottom line then the continuing poor performance of the company as evidenced by their share price must bring into question the leader’s performance.

So, just spoken to Tim about our outfits for new year’s eve, we’re dressing up as glam rockers, I will try and get photos on the blog. It’s traditional for folk to fancy dress up on new year’s eve in Swanage and up until a few years ago was quite a big affair; apparently, so the folklore goes, it was even advertised on the London Underground.

Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.

If you have to hate anyone hate murdoch.

Really disappointed in myself yesterday as I got somewhat overheated with Ruby for not taking her shoes off when she went upstairs on the new carpet. In the overall scheme of things this was perhaps not the most heinous of crimes. On a day when I’ve already listened to and read about the greed and venality of many of our supposed fellow human beings: of banks surprisingly paying so little corporation tax, of the oh so smug tts going to the obnoxious murdoch’s xmas bash (am I the only one who boycotts all I can of his humanity destroying empire?) I come across something that makes me laugh and cry simultaneously:

Her point about the horrendous rise in hate crimes against those who are different is understood so easily when one realises that it’s the likes of murdoch, the fear-mongering tts, the politics of fear and hate, the shock-doctrine of ‘neoliberal’ (sorry angry young man) capitalism, ucrappers and the odious grinning gargoyle, the dump and the kleptos who create the mediums and the spores within which this poisonous disease spreads. Let’s just laugh at the fuckers, followed closely by a pitchfork or two.

Happy christmas everyone.

Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.


Yuletide Bollocks.

Both tired after a trip up north for the funeral of Jo, Kate’s sister in law. Always so sad witnessing the bereft of others, especially Kate’s brother Ian and son Raven. Jo had sadly experienced 6 years or so of crabby bollocks, soon after her first diagnosis she changed her style of dress and primarily wore bright colours and dyed her hair, mainly pink. Ian had asked mourners to wear bright clothes in memory of Jo but such is the nature of English folk that many didn’t. Or maybe it’s not our nature but more the cultural norms we feel so beholden to. Kate wore a bright red dress, me an electric blue jumper, orange trousers and red shoes.

It was also a little weird for me as Ian lives in Withernsea, a small seaside resort on the Holderness coast in the East Riding of Yorkshire.  I spent 1997 there working in a dodgy school run by a cult called tvind. I rented an outrageously large house for 2 adults and a young child in a small village called Roos. It had a small lake and my daughter Fay did fall in wearing a red coat, just like in the film Don’t Look Now except I saved my child. And Kate and I have just been to Venice. I drove Kate around the area, as is often the case it’s not quite how you remember it being.

Driving back I had a call from Grace telling me that she’d been in a car accident whilst in a car driven by her madly unpleasant mother. Fortunately no serious injuries except for Grace having bruised ribs and maybe whiplash. Maybe she should sue her mother? Also in the car was Grace’s boyfriend who has the splendid moniker Tennyson Hercules Forbes-Sinclair. Apparently there was much amusement with the police and others taking his name at various times.

I will write my book one day about all the abusive shit the witch bitch ex-wife has caused me, Fay, Grace and others. Abuse is not the sole reserve of men towards women.

Have to copy a brilliant line from  a letter in yesterday’s Grauniad: ‘Jose in ex-chelsea is’. I’m going to sing it very loudly every time I hear this carol.

Good to see my soccer team the Foxes doing so well. I was born near Leicester, unlike most babylon united supporters who were born nowhere near Manchester.

As those who know me I am not at all religious (my favourite christmas song is Tim Minchin’s ‘Drinking white wine in the sun’, great lyrics) but after reading a piece by Jon Ronson about the online lynch mob that dominates twitter I am of a mind to use one of Jesus’ supposed sayings in a hashtag response to the twitterati:


Wouldn’t stop the outright unthinking wankers but might get a few to pause before keying their bile. Wonder when I might be subjected to any of the bollocks with this blog?

Drove through one of my favourite place names yesterday near Hull: Thorngumbald. They are still quite Viking up there. And isn’t The Last Kingdom great, much better than the overrated game of thrones.

And Marky B’s xmas card made me laugh: To Kate, Duncan and other hangers on.

Hope all you happy few lovely readers get what you deserve this christmas and have a jolly time. We are certainly going to make this christmas better than last year’s.

And here’s a feast of Kliban:

B. Kliban cartoons

Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.

The ceo dilemma.

So sadly my mythical petition failed and the special needs one has moved on. A rather revealing photo of him being unrevealing of himself as he left with a hood over his face. Whilst it’s easy for the likes of me to snipe at those in ‘public life’ who are increasingly subjected to media hostility I am glad he is gone. As so often happens in sport any bad or wrong behaviour is ‘excused’ if people are ‘winners’. Having a very old fashioned sense of fair play and justice I have always found it difficult with folk like moanrinho.

And then I read a piece by Mr Shariatmadari about how those who are ‘authentic’ connect with voters and he includes boris de pfeffel twatface in his list. He’s as authentic as the Ming vase in our cupboard: “Kierkegaard made a distinction between inauthenticity and authenticity. Inauthenticity happens when one’s actions ignore the needs of the individual. So, for example, a war general is living inauthentically by ordering troops to their death for “the good of the nation.” This general is sacrificing the immediate needs of the individual for some abstract idea of the greater good. Authenticity happens when a person lives in the moment and is ready for any outcome—with no excuses and no falling back on membership in some group.” Up the buller.

So that eminently authentic gang the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development have just done some research which shows how demotivating it is for workers when their CEO pays himself (occasionally it’s a herself) kleptonic rates. It not only discourages their work but they also think it harms the company’s reputation. Now one thing that gets these kleptos going is ‘reputational risk’ but one doubts that this will outweigh their greed. Interestingly the figures dropped when workers considered their own bosses, partly because of ‘ignorance of their own organisation’, or just another example of cognitive dissonance. But also, I would suggest, because of the so-called tribal effect. So called because I just made it up but I suspect it’s a standard anthropological term.

Now one way of countering the kleptos soaraway remuneration would be to have workers, i.e. those who actually do the work in companies, on the board. I would have loved to have sat at table with kleptosaria and discussed everyones pay at cambian. I suggested it a couple of times to one Stephen Bradshaw, he was director of education for cambian, when he was talking to the school’s workers about stuff, he seemed to think it a good idea. He didn’t last long with cambian and kleptosaria told him he should spend more time with his grandchildren.

I’m a fickle fucker, a few words from Angry Young Man and for the first time in a while I didn’t read Mr Monbiot this week, but having just written this I will and will do so through the prism of Angry Young Man.

So elections in Espagne this weekend here’s hoping Podemos do well. Thing is if they do the euro bastards will do for them like they did with Syriza in Greece. But we do have to resist the rise of the new establishment, as young Owen Jones writes in his book about the establishment “they are amassing wealth and aggressively annexing power in a way that has no precedent in modern times”. Are folk aware, for example, at just how brazenly the tts are changing things to ensure their continuing hegemony? For example they are screwing things up for the Labour Party’s union funding but strangely not their own funding from various financial institutions.

Pleasing to see mr carswell (ukrappers only mp) saying the grinning gargoyle must go.

Keep on keeping on, love Duncan.



Will Moanrinho still be managing chelski when you read this?

So I’ve started an online petition for mourinho to stay at chelski, they really are a lovely couple and I’d now hate to see them separated.

Played pool badly last night but I had a chat with a bloke I’d not met before. I liked him as he laughed about my mourinho petition. He was having a sabbatical from work after having a difficult time with his last business. We got onto talking about sports direct and the ashley klepto. He told me he’d been a store manager with ashley’s previous company and that managers lasted about 6 months before they had to quit before having some sort of breakdown. Can’t help feeling it’s a similar case with cambian, senior managers don’t seem to last long with mr kleptosaria.

Interesting isn’t it, although hardly surprising, as it’s only after the Grauniad exposes ashley and sports direct’s appalling behaviour does anything get done. People must have known what went on before, were happy to take the money and in their complicity are as bad as ashley.

Many years ago, soon after it was introduced, I dubbed the new national curriculum a ‘monolithic load of bollocks’. Today I read a rather more erudite description: “a narrow, regressive programme based on sterile ideas of knowledge transference”. It comes from one of many letters responding to the latest news that schools are currently paying a record £1.3bn for supply teachers (good business for the companies supplying supply teachers, they keep a kleptonic amount of the  monies for the teachers doing the work). So why does the government not do something so that significant amounts of money might saved to be spent on teachers and schools? I really can’t think why?

Actually why don’t schools or LEAs (if they still exist) simply organise a simple system to sort supply teaching? I could set it up in a day or two. They still do in Northern Ireland.

Also as another letter points out there is not a shortage of teachers as there are many thousands who’ve given up, often as a result of being ‘aggressively micro-managed out of their jobs’. Anyone else spot the similarities with ashley and sports direct?

There is a campaign to get companies to have a Fair Tax Payer label, all very laudable. I also think there should be a Pay On Time label for companies who pay their bills to suppliers, sub-contractors and the like on time. Too many companies, like cambian, delay paying their bills and this causes much hardship for folk. Another example is the lovely Liz, who Kate has a reciprocal massage arrangement with. She does classes for the newly taken over local gym which was franchised to a local man and was run well. Now it’s part of a holiday park which in turn is part of a large company. She says it typically takes months to be paid and then only after she has had to pursue things. Apparently every time she talks to someone in the ‘finance department’ it’s someone different. Bit like cambian, bit like so many companies. But as long as the kleptos get their loot, who cares?

I’d just sat down after a terrific lunch in the Yellow Bicycle Cafe in Blandford Forum with Kate’s aunt and uncle when Mike the garden designer knocked on the door with a large load of heavy Indian sandstone. So now I’m even more tired. Still, mustn’t complain as I was a little worse last year.

Keep on keeping on, love Duncan